The After Life

I am missing Buddy quite a lot. He has finally been laid down to rest peacefully. He not longer suffers, nor hurts. I miss everything about him. I hope that's Seamus is taking care of him. Hugging him tightly and whispering to him that he is loved. I have been very sad lately and I'm not sure why. Some nights I cry myself to sleep like I did after Seamus passed. I have been wishing that we would have given him long even though it would have made a difference. I keep wishing that I would have held him more and that would have kissed him more. I wish that I would have taken more picture of him, especially with the family. We have none of Seamus with any family members. No matter what road I try to take ur leads back to Seamus. I can't escape the pain and sadness I feel since I lost him. And every month when I discover that I am not pregnant it's like losing another baby. I feel as though the hope is lost. I want to hope but I always feel disappointment. How can I get pass...

Dear Seamus, Oh how I wish you could be here to be with your daddy and I on this special day. For I was you who made us parents. Your missed everyday and loved every moment. How I long to hear your laugh one day. So much has changed for daddy and I in the last few months. I hope our love and new found happiness brings you a brother or a sister that we can bring home. So that all the hugs and kisses you miss we can share with them. I hope god blesses daddy and I with another child soon because I am ready. I am truly ready. Please take care of Buddy dog for soon he well be joining you baby boy. He love hot cheetios and any kind of food really. Hug him and kiss him and let him know that we miss him too. Tell him we love him and baby, don't ever let him go. He is the best dog. You well finally get to meet him. Because I know he has been waiting to meet you. Mommy loves you Seamus, more then any words can ever express. I wish that things could have been different but this is what it is...