The After Life

I hope to find my strengths when this journey ends...

I hope to be here someday, where I don't give a fuck about what others think about me.

I am so angry right now! I spend my day at work, then went to the gym and wait there's more, made dinner, went and picked up dinner when I burnt the first dinner, then cleaned up the kitchen. I also folded my clothes. But yet he was home all day and did nothing! He washed his own laundry and turned on the BBQ! Yet never offer to help with anything or do any chores today! I am so tired of this shit. I can't/don't  want to do this anymore.

For most of my life I have always felt like something was missing. Like everyday I wake up I feel like I am not whole. I have always tried to fill that hole with the things I thought I was supposed to like family, friends and work. But maybe all this time something has been missing because I have never tried to be my real self. The person I really am. I think I have been lying to myself for a long time about who I really am. Like if I pretended to be the person everyone around thought I was/should be for long enough that I would be. In turn I think I have made myself miserable trying to be that person.  I guess I never really knew who I even was until recently. I still finding out. I hope that this is what I am supposed to be. At this point only time will tell....