The After Life

This is what I posted on facebook. On days like today and for mothers like me its easy to forget that we are mothers. Thats because we don't get hold our babies, kiss them or hug them everyday like most mothers do. We have to hold on to the memories we have of them or with them. Sadly we don't get to make new memories with them but we are still MOTHERS! They are still our babies they are just with us in a different way. They were s till loved from the start and still are very loved even now. They were so loved that we let them go peacefully so them didn't have to suffer in their imperfect bodies. No matter what we are still mommies! So happy mother's day to all mom but especially to the one like me who don't get to spend it with our babies and don't alway feel like mothers but we are! My day was made very special by a few people. So thanks to my special husband! To my sister in law Nikki. To my sister Nicole and to Holly O'Farrel. They all made this day spe

Tomorrow is mother's day and I have to spend it without my son. My first mother's day. It sucks! I pictured things so differently last year and I never thought I would spend my first mother's day alone. Even though my baby is not here I am still a mother. Even though I don't feel like it I am. A friend came into my work today and gave me a hug knowing that tomorrow will be a difficult day for me tomorrow. Wait its been a difficult week! Anyways she told you are a mother of an angel baby. Which was very sweet even though I know Seamus isn't an angel and then gave me money to buy a gift for myself for mother's day. I told her I couldn't take but she made me. What an amazing person she is! There still are good people in this world. This friend I know from work does this for me and my so called best friend can't even call me or check on me to see how I'm doing? Wow! Thank God for the people in my life like Holly(friend from work) that remind me I am stil

Today make 4 months since our precious little boy  Seamus  has left us. Some days it feels like yesterday that it happen because I remember every detail. There have been so many ups and down already and a million more to go. I don't know how I have kept going through all of it. There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't cross my mind and there isn't a week that goes by that I haven't cried. Ever yday is a struggle. But I have learned what amazing family and friends I have. Also I've realized who are my true friends and that your best friend can ditch you at the worse time. Everyday I wish the outcome could have been different, it should have been different but it wasn't and I'm still trying to accept that. I am sick of people telling me that I will get over it because your wrong I well not. I will just learn to live with it. In all of this I have learn there will always be one person it my life that I never be without and that is my husband. But than