The After Life

Well here we are again! Things were looking so bright just one short month ago and now...I just don't know. I get so frustrated with changes. I get so used to the way things are when they change and I have no control over I don't like it. Of course this is all about work. A new manager comes tomorrow but I haven't even gotten over the other one leaving! But wait it gets better my P.I.C.(partner in crime) quits today! Ahhhh...when can we catch a break?! I understand completely and I will support him because he is my friend, but this all just blows! Super bummed doesn't begin to describe how I feel. But I am still trying to be positive about meeting my new boss tomorrow  but it's tough!  Hopefully eatting my weight in bacon and pancakes with Rachel in the morning with ease my bummed outness! That is not even a word! Only 1 hour and 15 minutes until the next day starts! Ahhhhhh.....why?!

People forget that we just don't mourn our child when they die but the aspect of what their life should have been. We mourn that missing person...that emptiness...that no one or anything else can fill...

Well...I am super pissed at...MYSELF! Let's say someone from work was asking a question about something that was none of their business and I fell right into the trap! They were fishing for something they thought they knew and I took the bait. Then they proceed to lie about how they already knew! I am so angry at myself for not seeing that coming! How can I ever trust people like that!? I can't! They said their not gonna tell anyone because it's not their business but I still don't believe them. I guess I'm always waiting for someone to stab me in the back because it's happened so many times. Why didn't they just straight up ask me instead of fishing for the anwser?! I am you so upset about it and of course I am being told that I am over reacting. I just like for people to have things over my head. I don't want them to have something to hold/use against me. Yes, I understand how that sounds...like the whole world I'd against me! But maybe it is?! Ma

I would love to be able to do this! Please tell me how?!

Sometimes I feel like the world around is crumbling and Im standing in the middle of it. The pieces are suspended in the air around. I see them but they are too far to reach for them. I'm trying to grab them, while standing on this small piece of ground under my feet. It all feels impossible , to do without falling. I think that just maybe it's a dream I'm stuck in and any minute I'm gonna wake up, but the sound of the alarm never comes. No this is my life... Right now I'm so overwhelmed with so many feeling and memory that were brought up at today's session. I really hate going. All it does is stir up all the things I try to keep bury and things I don't want to feel. There are so many times I wonder if there is someone else who feels exactly how I feel or is going through the same things. I'm not saying my life is bad, I'm saying it's overwhelming. Some day I just wonder what would happen if I just decided not to get out of bed. I feel overwhel

I'm sorry but no just no!

This makes me smile  because I actually know a few people that I feel this way about!

This is really perfect for me right now! I need to try and remember this everyday currently!