Confusion - Overwhelming- Loneliness

Sometimes I feel like the world around is crumbling and Im standing in the middle of it. The pieces are suspended in the air around. I see them but they are too far to reach for them. I'm trying to grab them, while standing on this small piece of ground under my feet. It all feels impossible , to do without falling. I think that just maybe it's a dream I'm stuck in and any minute I'm gonna wake up, but the sound of the alarm never comes. No this is my life...

Right now I'm so overwhelmed with so many feeling and memory that were brought up at today's session. I really hate going. All it does is stir up all the things I try to keep bury and things I don't want to feel. There are so many times I wonder if there is someone else who feels exactly how I feel or is going through the same things. I'm not saying my life is bad, I'm saying it's overwhelming. Some day I just wonder what would happen if I just decided not to get out of bed. I feel overwhelmed by sadness on so many days and yet no one has any idea.

I still wonder constantly why me?! I just can't shake that question no matter how hard I try.  There are so many days I feel so alone in all of this. There are certain people I am just tired of trying to make understand, when they obviously just can't!  Sometimes I just want to pull a friend a side and just tell them I really need a friend right now but, then I feel needy. I'm not really sure if there is a right  balance in all if this. I guess I don't know how to ask for a friend without be worried that I am going to overwhelm them with all that I am feel. Plus you really don't want it to be a one sided thing. Ahhhh! I just don't know!