Love...?

Love......

I really thought I was unlovable....

Like never would anyone be able to love someone who is a mess like me...

Like why would anyone choose to love me again.....

....................................

.........Then I met him......

He was cute....

Then he was different...........

Made me feel...very different from the last....

Maybe he loved me first.....who knows..maybe...maybe not...

He was immature...

He was sweet....

Made me feel good...really good.....

Then December came....

December 29th to be exact...

For some reason he was still around on the 30th of January.....

Still...wow..is right.......

But then...not just once...but twice..I said no....

Things were complicated...like really...

Things changed...when I though they would stay the same...

Rough times...sad times...sleepless times...

Missing him...wondering does he miss me...

Sadness...hurt...

I realized what he brought into my life...

I realized I wanted him...his immature imperfections and all...

But I was too late...or was I...

I started to show him...me..the real parts of me I have left..

Things started to change..I was not too late...

I showed him I did care..for him..that I wanted him..

Then he started to do it again...

Before he would look at me when I was with him..I would see out of the corner of my eye...

Staring at me..like he was taking me all in..the way he looked at me so joyful..

But now that looked was different...like I was everything at that moment...

I can't explain it...

Maybe I can..

Love.....?

The way he would touch my face...or how he makes me feel...

The dinner he made me...

The way he treats me at his place...my own toothbrush...

And then..my brother...confidant...best friend...

You love him...

No...how could I..love him...?

But then..Just then..not at that exact moment..but it happened...

Finally....

Like finally..

I realized..it..you know..

I love him..

Love that I choose...

Fun...not obligated...

Nothing is even official yet..ha..

...

.....

This is only the beginning of my new story.