Today I wondered if it wasn't my son who passed and it was my friend's would I be able to sympathize with them? I honestly can answer that because I really do not know.
So somethings have changed like the title of my blog for one. There have been so many changes in the last 3 years or even in the last year let's say. Where am I at right now in my life? Well, I work at a place I love even though things are crazy sometimes and I freak out a lot but I think that's because I'm am OCD control freak. Yeah I said it! I still try to hide my OCD tenancies but they are there. Work is the one place I can control the outcome of most things not always but mostly. I work with some great people. There are a handful in particular that I really like and see them more as friends. Hopefully the feeling is mutual. Lol. You never know! Its hard that one of them is pregnant and everyone is awwwing all over but I'm trying. I'm trying to be happy for her. I'm trying not to lose it when they talk about her 'cute belly'. I really am TRYING! But I have been on a mean streak lately. My mouth has said somethings it can't take back and it will...
This mother's day felt like all the rest...empty and sad. Very few acknowledge that I am a mother which makes me sad, since they get to look at their children everyday for a daily reminder that they are a mother. I however only get to imagine what my son might look like now. I guess this is how it is....for right now.
Comments
Post a Comment