Back to December....

In 1 hour December is officially here. The crushing sadness and emptiness has already arrived. I miss him. I miss that little boy I held in my arms for the first on December 30 2011, the day after he was born. I miss each emotional day I spent with him. I miss the little hands and feet. I miss everything! My soul is crushed. My heart is rebreaking, just like it does every year at this time.  The pieces just start to come together but them December comes again.

I feel like I am being shut out by him. He doesn't tell me how he feel. I worry about him. I try not to annoy him with questions and just try to let him be but it's hurts me if I think he is unhappy. I don't know what to do.

I try to brush all of these things off but I can't. I love them both too much!