Within Myself
I still don't know what it means to live again. There are still so many day like today I just feeling like giving up. It so hard to keep going and I feel so unstable inside bit I can't tell anyone. I still feel so lost and empty. Going to group and talking about my loss doesn't help in the way I thought it would.I find myself a lot of Times not wanting to go anymore. At first I loved to go, I even loomed forward to it every month. Now it feels like a chore. I guess even though all those ladies know the pain I feel that I feel like I still can't say what I really want to say. I still can't totally be myself. But who am I really? I am mean, angry and hateful person now. I can no longer see the good in this world. And when I see my coworker come in with her new healthy baby I want to stab myself in the stomach. It hurts so bad. I try to be happy but I am I am incapable. I can't wait another two or four year for another baby. Why can't I do the one thing a woma