The After Life

There is one hour left in this book 2015. Page 364, I decided to call it. This is has been both good and bad of course as every year has. Some highlights are; my job of course where I am now the assistant store manager, I made the best trustworthy friend that brings no judgment and that makes me smile, I have learned some lessons, made new friends and I have made it through one more year.... I'm ready to close this book and start a new one, that can start with making myself happy! I want to be happy no matter what that means. I don't want to cry by myself anymore,  hide my real self or my feelings. I want to be the real me that I hide, even if no one likes that person! Goodbye 2015 and thanks for the good times but hello 2016! Help me find happiness, peace and my sparkle!

I definitely feel like this is where I am at right now. I'm trying to make decisions on temporary things that will permanently change things. I'm starting to wondering if I trying to use it as a way out instead of confronting the real issues. I hate when I feel this confused.

I'm really starting to wonder if this could be the truth...

Everyday I work on everyone else's problems before my own. I spend so much time worrying about things that are not my problem. I make other people's problems mine. I always work harder on one person's in particular life more then mine. I ignore my own issue just to makes their life easier. And I just can't do it anymore! It's not love. I uses to be so depend on other people but now I just want to depend on myself. I'm tired of being sad and feeling alone. I need to work on my life and not everyone else's!