The After Life

I have yet to find that true love I thought I found. I realized that all of this is a life lesson for me in some way or another. I now realize how I am valuable to life...I also realize how confusing this all is. That guy i wanted to be with before finally came forward with his feelings..which I thought would feel amazing, but his timing is oh so wrong. Yes he has feelings for me but what are those exactly? I'm curious to know...but I can't ask him.  So I guess I must wonder. He has no game...but he is a good guy. However we are just friends because I am currently in a relationship, which I thought I was happy in but now it's not feeling that way. Maturity is important to be being that I act like an adult. I don't feel like him and I are on the same page..we don't have the same goals in life I feel. I'm confused but I feel like  I know what I need to do... sadly. I just want to make sure I'm not basing this off of what mister late bloomer has told me... Mo

He was my son...my little boy. I carried him for 9 months..so no damn person is allowed to tell my how I can feel. No one is allowed to tell me how long I can be sad. No one is allowed to tell me how long too grieve him. No one is allowed to tell me when I can grieve him. I made him..he was the love of my life and I will take as long as I want, need or damn will please to be sad for him. You don't get to tell me or any other mom who has had to say goodbye to their child how long they can feel this sadness and grieve.. because we have lost out on an entire life...so we can grieve them for our lifetime...