The After Life

So today I went to my first new counselor appointment. It went well...they always tell me I have things so together, yet I feel as though I am falling apart. There are so many days the person inside me is screaming for help but, of course no one call hear me screaming. They just look at me blankly as they pass by. I told my counselor Deanna about my idea to get a camera. I think I will get one this weekend. It's time to stop letting my dreams die but instead embrace them. Maybe I can create some beautiful memories that will help me heal.

Here am I. I don't know if I have any readers but, that's okay... Tonight, I realized something I enjoy. When my son Seamus was in the hospital dying, our social worker gave us they name of this organization Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. This organization does free photo session with you, your family and your dying child or in my case baby. The photographers come too the hospital, which is amazing. They are able to capture the memories of you loved one. I will always cherish the gift that wonderful gentleman captured. I think I want to do this also. I want to honor my son by helping these parents capture this small moment. I have always loved pictures..I just ever really show them. I guess I'm embarrassed, maybe even self-conscious. Instead of continuing to dream, I think I am going to start doing. Stay tuned...