The After Life

I have been struggling lately with telling his that I'm not ready for another baby. Last night I finally told him...he was not happy at all. I can't blame him for that, but he could at least tried to talk to me about it and try to understand what I'm feeling and what led me to this decision. But no he didn't. He even said he wasn't mad, even though I knew he was. All he said is that he was disappointed.... That's really all I could get out of him. I'm so annoyed! This is a big decision and I feel like he does even care anymore. I'm starting not to care anymore. Especially if that is as much communication I'm going to get from him on something that's important. Whatever, I am so over this shit!

You don't get to decide whether I'm hurt or not. Thats up to me.

Fear noun an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Right now I fear staying in this situation and leaving it. What if no one ever loves me again? But is sacrificing my happiness love? Love isn't unconditional! Will things actually change or is it just going to be another phase? I feel so alone even when I'm not. Can I be alone? What do I even do?! I'm so confused!