The After Life

So true.

Today I read something that went like this.....grief is not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith, it's the price of love. Why is the price of love such a heavy burden? And why must I continue to bare it?

When I read my old post, I can still feel my heart breaking and my eyes tearing up. I finally went to group last week after about a year. There were many new face which made my heart break. One of them being a friend. It was hard to get myself to go but I did. After 3 years it still makes me cry to share my story. Its still so painful. But I ripped open my heart and share just a little. Then I went home and stitch my wound back up and went back to hiding. I don't know if it helped to go back but I did get there which was big.  I had more to share but I don't remember now. Gotta work tomorrow, at least it's with one of my favorite people. Gonna try to make it good.

Why can't people think when they ask someone to do something how it will make them feel? And why must they keep pestering about when you don't want to do it? Arrr! Its so frustrating. I have so much on my mind right now. The big problem is  can't fix the one thing  I want to because I'm not supposed to know about it. But maybe I don't really know. My brain is scattered!  I don't like the whispers after I walk by. Even if their not about me. Peoples attitudes and bad moods. Just know if I could stand up for you I would how great you are at what you do. Please know alway got your back! I wish I could just say that but I can't. I'm pulling my hair out about this one! What makes me made is they don't understand why. I don't have to explain because it's none of your business. This people is a great person and does not deserve to get thrown under the bus. Thats just one problem. Money and bill those are my regular normal problems. Moving out of