The After Life

I have struggled to know what my self worth is my whole life. I still do...so many time I wonder if I am even worthy of certain things...or certain people. Like am I even worthy for some to love me again like truly love me...every part of me. Am I pretty enough or fit enough for this person that I want to be with? Eight months ago I would have said no. I realize now that, that one person wasn't worthy enough of me....but in learning and figuring this out I shoved off the person that was trying to show me that I have self worth. I never expected this person to show me so much about myself...or show me all the things that my last relationship lacked. I was so focused on the wrong things and wrong people that I also let him slip away. That week of silence without him, was deafening. I missed him whole heartedly and felt so broken and lost. I realized during this week that I truly wanted to be with him. That I had strong feelings that I never shared with him but instead hid because

This mother's day felt like all the rest...empty and sad. Very few acknowledge that I am a mother which makes me sad, since they get to look at their children everyday for a daily reminder that they are a mother. I however only get to imagine what my son might look like now. I guess this is how it is....for right now.