New Normal

I currently feel very depressed without reason..
Yes it is that time of year again..but really I am not ready to feel like this. Tired and sad is all I feel even when I have so much to be happy about. Yet...I can barely get out of bed.

Everyday I sleep as much as the day will let me and then I paint my smile on and go to work. No one understands that inside I feel as though I am dying....

The pain is so much to bare, I feel as though a constant suffering is always upon me. Holding me down during the day. I have an appointment with a new counselor on Thursday, I hope that she can help me figure this out. It's becoming too much. I need out from under this before it crushes me. I really don't know how I pull myself up everyday.

I realize something is wrong with me...I'm just not sure what that is... I try so hard to be happy but it's just not there.